FORGOTTEN COURAGE!!

Call her Nirbhaya or Damini or Roshini or a victim or a fighter, it doesnt matter to her anymore. She is not wanting to hear anymore. What if she was a daughter of someone, what if she wanted to live, what if she scored 73 percent in her exams and couldnt see it, what if she wanted to marry someone...... we are too busy with ourselves to think of all this.

It's not about Nirbhaya. It is about us. Just two weeks ago my facebook was flooded with messages in Nirbhaya's favour and apathy of our judicial system but today when Justice J S Verma Panel came with unfavourable recommendations, everyone is busy posting their emotional quotes, religious pictures, film awards and other personal stuff. Where has that courage disappeared? I logged in my facebook today thinking there will be reactions but was surprised to see not even a single comment on the same.

Justice Verma Panel has rejected death panelty for the rapist and have recommended "long" or "whole" life imprisonment for the convict. It has suggested introduction of 'marital rape' penality in India and if rape causes death or a persistent vegetative state, the imprisonment shall range from 20 years to rest of person's natural life.

The recommendations has been presented in a commendable package but I have some basic questions to ask. Who give the right to a man to infringe women right of living fearlessly? The punishment of killing someone should be imprisonment where the convict will have place to sleep, eat and work. Atleast they have priviledge to get space to eat and sleep unlike lakhs of innocents are leading sleepless nights on roads without food in extreme winters. How fortunate these convicts are? 

For such heinous crime imprisonment is sufficient? I want to throw a question to parents who are blessed with a girl child - Will you spare the person who tries to eye on your daughter? Well I might be driven by emotions but being a woman I stand against these recommendations. 

These recommendations are evidence of patriarchial society who think violation which is a small word to use - damage to a woman's self respect is punishable but only limited to imprisonment. 

Nirbhaya dared to raise voice and got killed. It was murder of every woman who stands for her rights and dignity. The convicts are smart enough to prove themselves "Juvenile" and get away with it. We all know that such crime continue to trouble our country even when we are expecting our judiciary to act strict. These recommendations invite more such crimes.... I remembered Jessica Lal case where justice had to be demanded when it was denied. Why do we always wait for something severe to happen and then strengthen our laws and in this case many Nirbhaya's have already been killed, what our judiciary is now waiting for?

Facebook is silent, government will take away our attention with announcment of Rahul Gandhi as next PM candidate and we will get busy with our daily chorus. I am concerned...for myself.... for my friends...for my sisters..... for my mother..... for a community which forms 50 percent of population on this Earth..... how can we allow someone to rip us apart and get away easily. I also understand that "Tit for Tat" or "equivalent retaliation" is not an answer but in this case I would demand the same.

We should take learnings from other countries where bad eye on woman leads person to public shame and in extreme cases of rape castration and death in public -this shows unacceptable attitude towards women rights violation. Behaviour change takes time but initiation of severe punishment is a starting point. Even children are taught this way then why our judicial fears to suggest strict punishment laws for such cases.
It's about me....  a woman and I should be allowed to take the decision on punishment of the convict. Some insensitive committee members cannot give recommendations or judgement on behalf of women. I cannot allow "courage" (Nirbhaya) to be forgotten! 

Eight of Us and Unknown destination!!!!!

A small gang of eight people who had no clue about each other and got to know each other at 5.45AM in winters foggy morning at Gurgaon to walk together, sounds crazy... isn't it? but Yes it was a crazy act. If I say we travelled all the way from Mayur Vihar to enjoy walk in unexplored unknown territory of Haryana then for sure we will be called insane. But this is how it exactly happened on one fine Sunday morning.

It was unplanned and I for a moment thought of giving up the plan to get up at 4.00AM (I am the most reluctant person to get up so early morning espacially in winters) and travel this long to walk. But my better half was quiet determined for the fact that this gang of eight was co-headed by his current boss. And to my surprise, we got up at sharp 4.00AM. In next half an hour we got ready, packed some fruits, chocloates, candies and water to sustain us during the walk. We followed the instructions and wore rough jeans and 4 layers of woollens. Not only to our surprise even our parents were surprised to see us waking up so early to walk who keep telling us to get up on time and exercise on weekends. They dissuade us from sleeping for long hours in a sweet diplomatic way but we also sweetly miss this plea message and continue to enjoy our long hours sleep. Getting up early, sorry to correct myself, very early on Sunday morning is as painful as attending office on a festival. You just watch cars neatly parked in society premises, noise free roads, doors closed and even guards on the gates sleeping..... you fume and say "moron who asked you to say yes". Anyways, let me not get in to my pain of getting up early morning.

Not to exaggerate, we hit gurgaon in half a hour.. of course people dont get up at 4.00 to walk, they atleast wait it to be 6. Getting up early also makes you feel hungry. While driving, we were preparing ourselves and remebering all the tips we followed in last year walk where we walked 100kms in 48 hours. We both were hungry but couldnt spot even a single vendor or a shop to pick up some cookies or sandwiches. And to satisty my hunger pang i grabbed one apple from the four which we carried for the walk and ate. It was nice... I never found apple tasting like honey before. 

After waiting for about 15 minutes, the boss arrived and we headed towards hongkong Bazar where we had to wait for others. In sometime everyone had arrived and we got introduced to each other for the first time. The Sun had not shown its appreance till now. It was pitch dark, fog and pinching cold. We could feel the cold piercing in and we all were shivering. Just talk of tea was making us feel warm but now there was no escape. 

So were eight now - Shankar, Meenakshi, Roma, Gautam, Aneket, Aachal and Me. Started with torch light near a village. We parked our cars at a place where even Delhi Police would have faced challenged and insted would have questioned us on why we have parked our vehicles in an unknown territory. 

We walked amidst Aravali hills with our hands fold and head covered. It was windy. Thankfully some parts of the NCR have remained unexplored. We didnt notice any plastic thrown or littered. We climbed the rocks and were getting to know each other. Me and my better half were sharing the goof-ups that we had expereinced during 100kms walk in Bengaluru last year. World is really small and few of realise it as we could find few common linkages and friends. We walked for about 3 and half hours at a stretch and those carrying hot flask of tea were repeatedly pleading to off-load their burden. And we decided to have mercy. With some hot tea, stuffed parathans, cake and poha was served. WOW!!! what a sumptuous breakfast. We all were rejuvenated to walk further but had lost our way.

Thrown which got in to my shoe was hurting and I decided to take it out while others kept walking. Bio breaks are never a problem amidst jungle for any gender. We had to head towards South East direction and all of us were trying to find the mobile connectivity. We even were raising voices to see if there is any habitation nearby. Fresh dungcakes were confirming habitation for sure but we wanted the directions.  

We climbed the rocks and hills and reached near a well. Gathered some wood and tried to lit fire. Sun had not shown his appreance yet. We requested the passerbys to help us. Their expertise were helpful but strong wind spoiled the fun. We decided to head towards nearby temple and make tea on a chulah. The temple had few yogis' who gave a warm reception to us. It was an exemplary scenary. A best combination of trees, hills and lands. Sun had slowly shown its face and we all strtched our legs in sunlight. We were watching the beautiful sight carefully. A tree was occupied by parakeets and sparrows. A yellow, black and white color bird, peacocks and koel. The gesture of giving biscuits and snacks to us by yogis as prasad touched us. I felt as if I have found myself. I could hear yself, I could feel myself and I could breathe. Those who generalise all yogis and villagers should try walking unknown destination.

Anyhow, when you decide to walk..after a couple of kms you walk with yourself. You are in a group but you help yourself, you are you that time, you test your endurance and get to know yourself better. After staying for about 20 minutes we started our walk again and the walk further was tiresome. It was a complete jungle. We had lost our way. Some woodcutters spotted us and got concerned. "Areee aap log yahan rasta bhatak gaye.... sham ho jayegi apko yahan ghoomte ghoomte.... Sirf lakadhare ate hai yahan". He gave us directions and after sometime we found that we all were walking silently (heading towards South-East)... following the path to an unknown destination. A glimpse of kingfisher sprouted energy in us and we all stood their to absorb the beauty of nature. We had never seen Delhi NCR so natural, raw and pretty where there is no spec of concrete. 

Walking, climbing, combating thorns and balancing uneven path.. we reached at the back of Dumduma lake. We halted there and calculated the time. We had walked over 19Kms in 6 hours. It was surely an endurance test. Waking up so early never gave so much of joy to me. It was fulfilling..... we had big smile on our face..... after long time we felt that we have spent time with ourselves in the lap of nature. You tend to find yourself in desparation of reaching unknown destination! The unknown destination was not unknown anymore. I had visited this place once in my schooltime. So here the Sunday afternoon ended with warm sunlight, pakoras and hot tea. We chew sugarcane and hired a cab (Ford ICON) which was driven at the speed of 120KM per hour in the narrow lanes of Haryana village. We were holding on to our seats...."please bhaiya dheere chalaiye hume koi jaldi nahi hai"... we told the driver after which he took 45 minutes to cross the distance of 20 minutes. It was awesome day and experience..... a fun-filled and tiring day.   

GOSSIPING COACH!

Eight months of wedding never gave me an opportunity to travel in public transport. With a chauffer driven car (personal chauffer ;) my husband), always standing at my door, I started dreading travelling via public transports. But things are never constant. I stepped in metro after eight months to travel, to my new office premise in, Mandi house.

I was excited a bit but had lot many assumptions and notions that things would have changed. As a usual procedure I reached nearest metro station and checked if my year old metro card has any balance available in it or it needs to be recharged. I was thrilled to see Rs.70 balance amount in it. Everything was so usual. I was standing in queue to swipe the card and enter in. Another usual sight, one side of escalator was not working. Like others, I preferred to go on platfrom via lift and not climb the stairs due to heavy laptop bag. I have given off the habit of carrying this laptop or better say school bag since the time I got married but now I had no choice but to carry. Anyhow, the metro going towards Dwarka arrived. I remembered the instructions... travel in ladies coach, be safe, be alert etc etc. I felt myself like a 15 year old kid traveling alone for the first time. 

I carefully stepped in first coach of the train meant for ladies. I realised that I have not missed much in last eight months. "He has told me not to share it with vishal....", I smiled at the statement. Few young girls gossiping about college and friends. I looked at the other side "ab full time maid rakh li meri mother-in-law se kaam nahi hota na.. aur me baht thak jaati hoon'...acha.. chal acha hai tujhe bhi aaram milega..." the most popular and favourite saas-bahu discussion was brewing. I kind of controled my laughter and suddenly someone standing next to be shrieked, "I havent send this mail dont you get it....bas ab use koi kaam nahi denge... woh aisa hi karta hai". It didnt take me time to guess that it's official call. "Maya doesnt work at all you know and draws highest salary. Us din maine us se kaha ki mujhe suresh sir ki file chahiye to kehti hai I am not authorised...." and it went on. 

Women busy listening music, laughing, talking, singing.... it is same as eight months ago... the same crowd at the end of the coach where menfolk would step on each other to sneak and glance at what's happening in this coach of the train... why the hell it is so noisy... or just to barge in and see the women around but be careful now... the metro scenario might not have changed but attitudes have. There is definitely a stern attitude if you stare at women.

My station was nearing and I had to make the way towards the gate amidst the heavy crowd, bags and purses on the floor. I looked around.. the advertisements were hanging. I got down at metro....looked back and said to myself.... "Welcome back Priyanka."! I will be travelling with my newspaper and mp3 player from tomorrow. I reached in just 15 minutes without honkings and unwanted looks. Metro rocks and definitely "life-line" for delhities especially women. I do miss comfort and looks of my better half but 15 minutes of this travel time fills me with ideas...WOW!!! metro mata ki jai ho.

Killing Festivals!

I used to consider myself a vigilant citizen.... but just being vigilant doesn't help. I have been asking this question since August when I first witnessed the Yamuna - flowing quietly inside the city and not disturbing anyone. As soon as I start for my office - I cross the DND and pass by Yamuna where big barricades were not put up to save it from our insensitivities.

The entire affair started from August. Monsoon was normal this year and Yamuna was enjoying flowing in full swing with heavy current under it. It was a pleasing sight..... it witnessed large number of migratory birds...chirping and flying around. For a moment one wouldnt believe to be residing in Delhi. But as said good never stays for long, it also didnt stay.

I have seen the fading beauty of Yamuna where thousands of idols were immersed after Durga Pooja (no offences to anyone) left Yamuna choking and on top of it all pooja Samagri after Diwali. Dusshera has not left the city without affecting its environmental standards. And now "chaht pooja" is nearing by.

I might sound like an atheist but I believe in preparing for disposal systen first. Is the city like Delhi ready for bearing the brunt of all this festivities. Will we keep flooding Yamuna with wood, plastic, chemicals, insoulable materials and will keep blaming government for not creating systems. Over 1500 crore has been spent on cleaning Yamuna, Central Pollution Control Board has declared that air pollutants levels were high this year as compared to 2011.

The river which meets 70% of our water needs must be respected. All I see in Yamuna now is stagnant water with flower petals, wood pieces, dirt, plastic...... and to add more... uncles throwing dirt of their house in Yamuna while driving to office. Car will be parked on the DND and a well-dressed aunty will be stepping down to handover a huge packet in hand of a ragpicker to be thrown in Yamuna.... how vigilant and educated.... I sometimes wonder.

There is definitely a solution though a tough one.... but it needs backing of political will. The times are changing now so why cant the process of celebrating these traditional festivals can be changed. We are ready to send e-messages to relatives, send flowers on-line and wish loved ones over skype and facebook but we not ready to compromise with the traditional ways of celebration. Can't we have 10 effigys of Ravan to get burnt during Dussehra..... 10 idols of Durga to be immersed in water and complete ban on bursting crackers..... WE want clean environment for our generations but what are we doing besides accusing government. Are we ready to compromise our so called, generations old religious and social ego which are now giving birth to killing festivals.  

I called myself vigilant - I called up thrice on 100 number in two days to put off the annoying sound of loud speakers after waiting till 11.30pm... I call myself vigilant and just think about solutions....I call myself vigilant and I want to enjoy festivals and I hate to move around coverig my nose protecting myself from inhaling pollutants after Diwali. I want to enjoy the sight of migratory birds cherishing the Yamuna waters..... freely and Yamuna breathing freely.... in my city New Delhi!